The 1970s were the golden age of family entertainment, when every weekend promised adventure and parents believed that piling everyone into the station wagon was the recipe for lasting memories. Mom and Dad would announce these outings with such enthusiasm that we’d spend days imagining the fun ahead, only to discover that reality rarely matched the brochure. These well-intentioned family adventures taught us that sometimes the journey really was better than the destination, especially when the destination involved long lines, overpriced snacks, and the dawning realization that “educational” was often code for “boring.”
1. The County Fair
The radio ads made it sound like a magical wonderland of cotton candy, thrilling rides, and games where everyone was a winner. Your parents would build up the anticipation for weeks, promising you could ride everything and eat all the fair food your heart desired. The whole family would pile into the Buick wagon with high hopes and empty stomachs, ready for the time of our lives.
Reality hit the moment you stepped out of the car into a cloud of dust, cigarette smoke, and the unmistakable aroma of livestock. The rides looked like they’d been assembled by someone who’d lost the instruction manual, operated by teenagers who seemed more interested in their girlfriends than your safety. Those “win every time” games turned out to cost more than the prizes were worth, and Dad’s wallet got lighter while your stuffed animal collection remained disappointingly unchanged.
2. Antique Shopping with the Parents
Mom would announce these expeditions as treasure hunts where we might discover valuable artifacts and learn about history firsthand. She painted pictures of dusty shops filled with mysterious objects and fascinating stories from bygone eras. The promise of finding something really valuable that we could keep made it sound like a real-life adventure story.
What we actually found were endless rooms filled with rusty farm equipment, chipped dishes, and furniture that smelled like someone’s attic had exploded. Every item came with a lecture about its historical significance while we stood there desperately trying not to touch anything breakable. The “treasures” we were allowed to handle were usually old bottles or buttons, and the most exciting discovery was often finding a bathroom that didn’t require a tetanus shot.
3. Educational Television Tapings
The local PBS station would advertise live tapings of children’s shows, making it sound like we’d be part of television magic in the making. The idea of being on TV, even in the background, was incredibly exciting to kids who’d grown up watching Captain Kangaroo and Mister Rogers. Our parents would dress us in our best clothes and tell us we might be discovered by talent scouts.
The reality involved sitting in uncomfortable folding chairs for hours while grown-ups in puppet costumes rehearsed the same song seventeen times. The studio was smaller than your living room, blazingly hot under the lights, and filled with the kind of dead air that made everyone whisper for no reason. By the time they actually started filming, most kids were either asleep or having meltdowns, and the “magic of television” felt more like detention with costumes.
4. Factory Tours
Companies like Coca-Cola and Hershey offered free tours that promised a behind-the-scenes look at how your favorite products were made. The brochures showed smiling families watching chocolate rivers and soda fountains in action, with generous samples for everyone. It sounded like Willie Wonka’s factory had opened its doors to regular families for an afternoon of sweet discoveries.
What you got was a view of massive, noisy machinery through scratched plexiglass windows while a bored guide shouted facts over the industrial din. The “chocolate river” was actually a series of pipes and conveyor belts, and the promised samples were usually a single fun-size candy bar or a tiny paper cup of warm soda. The highlight was often the gift shop, where you could buy the same products you’d get at the grocery store for twice the price.
5. Auto Shows
Dad would circle the dates on the calendar and talk about seeing next year’s models before anyone else, promising shiny new cars and maybe even sitting behind the wheel of a Corvette. The newspaper ads showed gleaming vehicles surrounded by beautiful models, suggesting a glamorous world of automotive luxury. The whole family would dress up like we were going to church, ready to be dazzled by Detroit’s finest offerings.
The reality was acres of overheated convention center filled with cars you couldn’t touch, couldn’t afford, and definitely couldn’t test drive. Pushy salesmen would corner Dad while the rest of the family wandered around looking at vehicles that might as well have been museum pieces. The most exciting moment was usually when someone got yelled at for accidentally touching a side mirror, and the day ended with everyone’s feet hurting and Dad muttering about markup prices.
6. Scenic Drives to See Fall Foliage
Every October, Mom would announce a family expedition to see the autumn leaves at their peak, armed with a thermos of hot chocolate and promises of nature’s spectacular color show. The local tourism board made it sound like driving through a living postcard, with every turn revealing more breathtaking vistas. We’d pack the car with snacks and cameras, ready to witness the natural wonder that grown-ups seemed to find so enchanting.
What we discovered was that fall foliage looks pretty much the same from a moving car, regardless of how many scenic overlooks you stop at. The “breathtaking vistas” were often obscured by other families’ station wagons, and the scenic routes were packed bumper-to-bumper with leaf-peepers moving at the speed of molasses. The hot chocolate got cold, the camera ran out of film after the third identical tree photo, and everyone realized that leaves are just leaves, no matter how much adults rhapsodize about them.
7. Historical Reenactments
Local historical societies would advertise Civil War battles and colonial village demonstrations that promised to bring history to life with authentic costumes and dramatic action. The flyers showed cavalry charges and musket fire, suggesting an afternoon of educational entertainment that would be both thrilling and enlightening. Parents loved the idea of combining fun with learning, and kids imagined real-life action scenes from their favorite war movies.
The reality was watching middle-aged accountants in ill-fitting uniforms march around a field while someone with a megaphone explained troop movements in excruciating detail. The “battle” consisted mainly of men falling down dramatically after firing blanks, and the most excitement came from trying not to laugh when someone’s fake beard fell off. The educational value was questionable, and the entertainment value depended entirely on your tolerance for amateur dramatics in polyester costumes.
8. Boat Shows and Marina Open Houses
The promise of seeing luxury yachts and maybe even boarding a real sailboat made these events sound like a glimpse into the glamorous world of nautical adventure. Brochures showed families relaxing on gleaming decks while seagulls soared overhead, suggesting that boat ownership was within reach of any suburban family. Dad would study the promotional materials like he was planning to buy a yacht, while we imagined ourselves sailing off into the sunset.
What we found were overpriced floating RVs crammed into indoor exhibition spaces that smelled like fiberglass and diesel fuel. The boats you could actually board had ropes blocking off anything interesting, and the sales representatives were more interested in qualifying your income than letting kids explore. The most nautical thing about the experience was usually the plastic lighthouse decorations, and the closest we got to sailing was sitting in a stationary boat while someone explained financing options.
9. Garden and Home Shows
These indoor exhibitions promised to transform your understanding of landscaping and home improvement, with elaborate display gardens and the latest in domestic technology. The advertisements showed families wandering through miniature paradises while discovering innovative solutions for modern living. Mom would talk about getting ideas for the backyard while Dad planned to check out the latest power tools and workshop gadgets.
The reality was wandering through artificial landscapes under fluorescent lights while overeager vendors tried to sell you vinyl siding and water softener systems. The “gardens” looked like department store displays, complete with fake grass and plastic flowers mixed in with the real plants. The most exciting discovery was usually finding the snack bar, and the day’s biggest adventure was avoiding the timeshare salespeople who lurked near the entrance like domestic pirates.
10. Local Theater Productions
Community theater groups would advertise family-friendly productions that promised professional-quality entertainment at budget prices, often featuring local talent and familiar stories. The idea of live theater seemed sophisticated and culturally enriching, especially when the productions were classics like “Our Town” or musical revivals. Parents would dress the family up for a night of culture, expecting to be transported by the magic of live performance.
What we got was watching the pharmacist from downtown struggle through his lines while the high school drama teacher played piano slightly off-key in the background. The sets looked like they’d been painted during a particularly uninspired art class, and the costumes appeared to have been borrowed from various decades without much concern for historical accuracy. The most dramatic moment was usually when someone forgot their lines or a piece of scenery fell over, and the evening’s entertainment value depended largely on your appreciation for well-intentioned amateur efforts.
11. Craft Fairs and Artisan Markets
These events promised unique handmade treasures and the chance to meet local artists while supporting small businesses and creativity. The promotional materials showed charming booths filled with pottery, jewelry, and folk art that suggested a world of authentic craftsmanship and artistic discovery. Families would arrive expecting to find one-of-a-kind items and maybe even watch artisans at work, creating lasting memories of cultural enrichment.
The reality was row after row of macramé plant hangers, ceramic ashtrays shaped like frogs, and jewelry made from painted macaroni. Most of the “artisans” were suburban housewives selling their hobby projects at prices that made store-bought alternatives look like bargains. The most artistic thing about many booths was the creative spelling on the hand-lettered signs, and the day’s biggest purchase was usually a funnel cake from the food vendor.
12. Science Museums and Planetariums
The brochures promised mind-blowing exhibits that would unlock the mysteries of the universe and inspire the next generation of scientists and astronauts. Pictures showed families gathered around interactive displays and gazing in wonder at star shows that would transport them to distant galaxies. The promise of hands-on learning and cosmic adventure made these outings sound both educational and thrilling.
What we found were mostly broken interactive exhibits with hand-lettered “Out of Order” signs and dusty displays that looked like they hadn’t been updated since the Eisenhower administration. The planetarium shows were often narrated by someone who sounded like they were reading a grocery list, and the “journey through space” felt more like a very expensive nap in a reclining chair. The gift shop featured overpriced plastic rockets and freeze-dried astronaut ice cream that tasted like sweetened cardboard.
13. Drive-In Movie Double Features
The promise of watching movies under the stars while snuggled in your pajamas and eating snacks from the concession stand sounded like the perfect family entertainment. Drive-in theaters advertised double features that would keep the whole family entertained from dusk till dawn, with the romance of outdoor cinema and the comfort of your own car. Parents loved the idea of affordable entertainment that accommodated the whole family, including crying babies and restless toddlers.
The reality was trying to see a scratchy, dim picture while sitting in an uncomfortable car seat with the windows fogged up and the speaker crackling with static. The first movie would be fine, but by the time the second feature started, everyone was either asleep or cranky, and the romantic notion of starlight cinema had given way to the practical concerns of bathroom breaks and mosquito bites. The concession stand prices made movie theater snacks look reasonable, and the evening usually ended with Dad carrying sleeping children to the car while Mom gathered up scattered blankets and empty popcorn containers.
Those ambitious family outings of the ’70s taught us that sometimes the anticipation really was better than the reality, and that good intentions don’t always translate to good times. But they also gave us something more valuable than entertainment: shared experiences, family stories that got funnier with each retelling, and the understanding that love sometimes means enduring three hours of amateur theater just because someone thought it might be fun. Looking back, the disasters were often more memorable than the successes, and those “failed” family adventures became the stories we’d tell our own kids years later, usually while planning our own well-intentioned outings that would probably disappoint them just as much.
This story 13 ’70s Family Outings That Sounded Fun Until You Got There was first published on Takes Me Back.
