1. Shampoo in a Beer Can
In the ’70s, someone decided that beer wasn’t just for parties, it could also clean your hair. Shampoo infused with beer promised extra shine and bounce, claiming the hops and barley were miracle workers for dull locks. The gimmick worked, too, because people loved the novelty of washing their hair with what looked like a can of Budweiser. Of course, most people quickly realized you could just pour a little real beer on your head for the same effect.
The packaging made it feel more like a prank than a serious beauty routine. Plenty of teenagers probably bought it just for the fun factor, and then got scolded by parents for leaving a “beer can” in the shower. It never really lived up to the hype, and the fad fizzled out by the end of the decade. Still, it’s a perfect snapshot of how wacky ’70s marketing could get.
2. Tanning Reflector Shields
Forget sunscreen, the goal in the ’70s was to roast yourself as quickly as possible. That’s why so many people laid out with giant metallic reflector shields, directing even more UV rays straight onto their faces. The shiny contraptions made it look like you were sunbathing with a car windshield under your chin.
The idea was that you’d get a deeper, faster tan, but all you really got was a sunburn and long-term skin damage. They were clunky to hold, uncomfortable to use, and yet wildly popular at pools and beaches. Looking back, they seem less like beauty products and more like torture devices. Today, dermatologists cringe at the thought.
3. Roll-On Body Glitter
Before body shimmer was sleek and subtle, there was a roll-on stick of chunky glitter that left you looking like a disco ball. The ’70s made sparkle part of everyday fashion, not just a special-occasion thing. With one swipe of the roller, you could instantly shine under the club lights.
The problem was it didn’t really stay where you put it. One hug and everyone around you was glittery too, whether they wanted to be or not. It clogged pores, stuck to everything, and took days to scrub off. But for a brief moment, it was the ultimate party accessory.
4. Electric Face Exercisers
These looked like torture devices straight out of a sci-fi movie. They were little machines with electrodes that promised to “tone” your face by zapping your muscles. Ads swore they would erase wrinkles and give you a youthful lift without surgery.
In reality, they just left you with an odd tingling sensation and maybe a temporary twitch. People who tried them often described the experience as uncomfortable at best. It’s wild to think people once trusted electrical shocks as skincare. The craze eventually fizzled once folks realized it was more gimmick than science.
5. Spray-On Hair Color
Temporary spray-on hair color exploded in the ’70s, with shades ranging from neon brights to metallic silvers. It was marketed as an easy way to match your hair to your outfit, which sounded fun in theory. Teens loved it for concerts, parties, and even school spirit days.
The problem was the stuff rubbed off on everything—pillows, collars, even your hands if you touched your hair. It also smelled like paint and left your strands stiff as straw. By the end of the night, most people regretted trying it. Still, it set the stage for today’s safer, better formulas.
6. Bubble Bath Perfume Beads
These colorful little beads looked like candy, but when tossed into a tub, they released fragrance and oil. The packaging often promised that you’d step out of the bath smelling irresistible and feeling silky soft. Kids especially loved watching them dissolve into rainbow swirls.
The downside? They were greasy and left bathtubs coated in a slippery film. Plenty of people probably took a tumble thanks to these so-called luxuries. They were fun for about five minutes, but cleanup was a nightmare. It’s no wonder they quietly disappeared from store shelves.
7. Lip Plumping Gadgets
Long before glosses claimed to plump lips, there were odd suction tools that promised a fuller pout. You’d stick your lips inside a little plastic cup and create suction, which made them swell temporarily. It definitely worked, but often left you with bruised lips that looked less “sexy” and more “injured.”
The beauty world sold it as a quick fix for thin lips, but the results rarely looked natural. Many people learned the hard way that the swelling faded within minutes. It’s one of those bizarre inventions that sounds like satire now. Yet, somehow, it was taken seriously at the time.
8. Perfumed Wigs
Wigs were already trendy, but in the ’70s, some came pre-spritzed with perfume. The idea was that your hair would smell fresh all day without the need for hairspray or shampoo. The scents were often overpowering, like floral clouds that trailed behind you.
The problem was, wigs tend to hold odors, and mixing perfume with natural sweat didn’t exactly create a pleasant aroma. Plus, once the scent faded, you couldn’t exactly wash it out and start fresh. It was one of those ideas that sounded glamorous in ads but rarely worked in real life.
9. Scented Nail Polish
While nail polish has always had a distinct smell, some genius decided to make it scented on purpose. After your nails dried, they were supposed to smell like strawberries, vanilla, or even bubblegum. It made painting your nails feel like a candy shop experience.
The catch was the smell faded fast, and the formula itself wasn’t very good. Nails chipped almost instantly, and you were left with polish that was more gimmick than beauty. Some people even got headaches from the artificial scents. It was a fad that burned out almost as quickly as it arrived.
10. Disposable Paper Dresses
At the height of the paper fashion craze, disposable paper dresses were marketed as quick-change outfits. Some versions even came infused with moisturizer or perfume, making them double as beauty products. They were supposed to be chic, affordable, and effortlessly stylish.
In practice, they tore easily, wrinkled fast, and disintegrated if you got caught in the rain. Imagine trying to dance at a party in something that could rip with a single wrong move. It was a wild experiment in fashion-meets-beauty, but one that didn’t last.
11. Colored Mascara in Neon Shades
The ’70s were all about bold experimentation, and mascara came in shocking shades like lime green and electric blue. The goal was to make eyes pop under disco lights, and in that sense, it worked. The colors were bold, fun, and very of-the-moment.
Unfortunately, they clumped easily, flaked off, and often made people look more tired than trendy. It wasn’t exactly flattering in daylight, where neon lashes looked downright strange. Still, it became a short-lived staple of the era’s wild club culture.
12. Tooth Polish
Yes, there was actually polish marketed for your teeth, claiming to make them shinier and whiter instantly. It came in tiny tubes and promised Hollywood smiles at home. People applied it with little brushes, hoping for pearly perfection.
The problem? It often left teeth looking unnatural and even streaky. Dentists weren’t fans, warning that abrasive formulas could do more harm than good. Thankfully, the idea faded, replaced by safer whitening strips and toothpaste.
13. Hair Perfume Sprays
Perfumed wigs weren’t enough—there were also sprays made to scent your natural hair. They came in floral or fruity scents, turning hair into a portable air freshener. Some even doubled as styling sprays, so your locks smelled as good as they looked.
But like many ’70s products, they often overdid it. The scents clashed with perfumes and lotions, leaving people smelling like a walking potpourri bowl. It wasn’t exactly subtle, and most people eventually ditched the idea.
14. Stick-On Beauty Marks
Inspired by old Hollywood glamour, stick-on beauty marks became a quirky trend. You could choose from stars, hearts, or simple dots to place strategically on your face. They were marketed as a way to add instant drama and sophistication.
The novelty wore off quickly, though, as they tended to peel off mid-conversation. Plus, unless you were on stage, walking around with a star glued to your cheek just looked odd. It was more costume than beauty, and it didn’t take long for the fad to fade.
15. Freckle Pencils
In the ’70s, freckles were suddenly “in,” and cosmetic companies sold special pencils to draw them on. The idea was that a few dots across your nose made you look youthful and sun-kissed. For people without natural freckles, it seemed like a quick fix.
The problem was the dots often looked too perfect or too dark, making them look fake. They also smudged easily, leaving streaks instead of charm. While the idea has made a comeback today in a more refined way, the original products were pretty laughable.
16. Vibro-Massage Belts
These bulky contraptions wrapped around your waist or thighs and promised to “shake” fat away. People stood in them for 15 minutes at a time, believing the vibrations would slim their figures. Ads even suggested they could help tone muscles and improve circulation.
Instead, all they really did was jiggle you uncomfortably. The belts were noisy, awkward, and completely ineffective. They’re often shown in vintage comedy sketches now, which feels fitting. The only thing they really worked out was your patience.
17. Bronzing Makeup Sticks
To keep that sun-kissed glow year-round, bronzing sticks became a go-to item. They were chunky crayons you rubbed directly on your cheeks, forehead, or even arms. The promise was a golden tan without the sun.
In reality, they often left streaks and looked muddy instead of radiant. The formula clung to dry patches and transferred onto clothing, making them more hassle than help. Still, in the disco era, nobody seemed to mind looking a little overdone. It was all part of the look.
