Remember when we thought we looked absolutely fabulous in those wild outfits that now make us cringe when we flip through old photo albums? Those decades gave us some truly unforgettable fashion moments that seemed like brilliant ideas at the time. Join me for a nostalgic journey through the fashion faux pas that defined our youth—styles we once wore with pride but wouldn’t dream of sporting today.
1. Go-Go Boots and Micro-Mini Skirts
Those white vinyl go-go boots paired with skirts that barely covered our essentials were all the rage in the swinging ’60s. We’d strut down the street feeling like fashion icons, oblivious to the discomfort of sweaty plastic footwear and the constant tugging to keep our hemlines decent. The combination left little to the imagination and even less room for practical movement. Luna Selena that these grooving boots revolutionized the shoe scene when they first hit shelves.
Looking back, these outfits were as impractical as they were eye-catching, especially when trying to navigate public transportation or a windy day. Winter months were particularly challenging as we shivered in the name of fashion, refusing to compromise our look despite the freezing temperatures. Those boots may have been made for walking, but they certainly weren’t made for comfort or longevity.
2. Bell-Bottom Pants with Platform Shoes
The early ’70s brought us pants that flared out dramatically from the knee, often so wide they could hide our entire shoes underneath. We paired these voluminous trousers with dangerously high platform shoes, creating an ensemble that made doorways treacherous and stairs downright perilous. The combination added inches to our height but subtracted points from our coordination. SMU Look notes that bell bottoms specifically had very nautical origins, making them very well-traveled indeed.
Rain was the mortal enemy of this look, as those flared bottoms would inevitably soak up every puddle within a ten-foot radius. Many of us have memories of arriving at work or school with sopping wet ankles, leaving damp footprints trailing behind us throughout the day. Despite the impracticality, we wore these outfits religiously, convinced we were the epitome of cool.
3. Leisure Suits in Polyester
Nothing says ’70s fashion mistake quite like the leisure suit—those matching polyester jacket and pant sets in colors nature never intended. Men and women alike embraced these synthetic wonders in hues ranging from mustard yellow to powder blue, often accessorized with wide ties or massive lapel pins. The fabric never breathed, ensuring we were perpetually damp during any activity more strenuous than sitting still. HowStuffWorks writes that though they were popular in more recent decades, the leisure suit’s history stretches back to the early years of the 1900s.
These suits had the remarkable ability to retain every odor they encountered, from yesterday’s cologne to last week’s cigarette smoke. Despite being advertised as wrinkle-resistant, they somehow managed to develop mysterious creases in all the wrong places after just one wearing. Yet we wore them everywhere from casual gatherings to formal events, blissfully unaware of how dated they would soon become.
4. Shoulder Pads and Power Suits
The ’80s corporate culture gave us shoulder pads so massive we could barely fit through doorways sideways. We embraced these structured silhouettes, convinced that the bigger our shoulders appeared, the more seriously we would be taken in the workplace. Women particularly adopted these power suits with skirts just above the knee, paired with uncomfortable pumps and statement jewelry.
These outfits required significant upkeep, with dry cleaning bills that rivaled our car payments and storage requirements that consumed half our closet space. The shoulder pads would often shift during the day, leaving us looking decidedly lopsided by the afternoon meeting. Nevertheless, we wore these suits like armor, ready to conquer the corporate world one enormous shoulder at a time.
5. Acid-Washed Denim Everything
The late ’80s unleashed a tsunami of acid-washed denim upon the world, with jeans, jackets, skirts, and even hats featuring the distinctive mottled pattern. We’d often wear these items together in what we now recognize as a serious case of denim overkill, topped off with permed hair and chunky plastic jewelry. The harsh chemical process that created these looks also ensured they’d fall apart faster than conventional denim.
The stiff fabric of newly acid-washed items would chafe uncomfortably until numerous washings softened them up. Despite this, we invested significant portions of our paychecks in assembling complete acid-washed wardrobes, convinced this was a timeless look that would never go out of style. If only we could go back in time and warn our younger selves about the photographic evidence that would haunt us decades later.
6. Parachute Pants and Members Only Jackets
These shiny, zippered pants made of nylon swished loudly with every step, announcing our presence long before we entered a room. Paired with the ubiquitous Members Only jacket, this ensemble became the unofficial uniform of mall-dwelling teenagers and aspiring breakdancers across America. Every movement produced a symphony of synthetic sounds as the fabric rubbed against itself.
The non-breathable nature of these garments meant we essentially wore personal saunas throughout the day, especially during warmer months. Despite the constant perspiration and limitation of movement, we insisted these outfits were the height of coolness and worth every moment of discomfort. Looking back, the only thing more embarrassing than wearing these clothes was how genuinely stylish we thought we looked in them.
7. Neon Everything and Leg Warmers
The fitness craze of the ’80s had us donning neon spandex, leg warmers, and headbands even when we had no intention of exercising. We’d coordinate our outfits in eye-searing combinations of hot pink, lime green, and electric blue, often accessorized with multiple rubber bracelets and oversized plastic earrings. These ensembles were so bright they practically required sunglasses to look directly at them.
The spandex left absolutely nothing to the imagination and had an unfortunate tendency to ride up in inconvenient places throughout the day. Leg warmers, despite their name, actually created odd hot spots around our calves while leaving the rest of our legs exposed to the elements. Nevertheless, we wore these outfits to the mall, to casual gatherings, and anywhere else we might be seen.
8. Mullet Hairstyles and Excessive Hair Spray
The “business in the front, party in the back” approach to hair styling resulted in one of the most regrettable looks of the late ’70s and ’80s. We’d spend hours perfecting these flowing manes, often with the help of enough hair spray to single-handedly deplete the ozone layer. The style crossed gender lines, with men and women alike sporting variations of this distinctive cut.
The upkeep was tremendous, requiring regular trims to maintain the perfect ratio of short to long hair, plus a small fortune invested in styling products. Sleeping with a mullet meant waking up with a flattened disaster that required extensive re-styling each morning. Despite the maintenance requirements, we proudly flaunted these hairstyles in yearbooks and wedding photos, ensuring decades of embarrassment whenever the albums came out.
9. Oversized Sweaters with Shoulder Pads and Stirrup Pants
The mid-’80s brought us enormous sweaters adorned with geometric patterns and, yes, those ubiquitous shoulder pads again. We’d pair these bulky tops with skin-tight stirrup pants that featured elasticized straps under our feet, creating an exaggerated silhouette that resembled an upside-down triangle. The combination made our upper bodies look massive while emphasizing every lump and bump below the waist.
These stirrup pants had a maddening habit of causing our socks to bunch uncomfortably under the arches of our feet throughout the day. The synthetic materials used in both garments ensured we would either freeze or sweat, with no comfortable middle ground regardless of the actual temperature. Nevertheless, we wore these outfits to work, to parties, and even for “casual” outings, convinced we looked effortlessly chic.
10. Popped Collars and Multiple Izod/Polo Shirts
The preppy look of the ’80s had us layering multiple polo shirts with every single collar turned up toward the sky. We’d coordinate colors carefully, making sure each upturned collar was visible above the one beneath it, sometimes sporting three or four shirts at once regardless of the weather. Men would often complete this look with a sweater tied around their shoulders, showcasing a level of impracticality that defied logic.
The multiple layers ensured we were perpetually overheated, especially when these outfits were worn during warmer months. The starched collars would often scratch against our necks, leaving red marks that served as evidence of our commitment to fashion. Despite the discomfort and eventual neck strain from holding our heads just right to maintain the popped collars, we considered this the quintessential look of sophistication.
11. Hypercolor T-Shirts and Jam Shorts
These heat-reactive shirts that changed color with body temperature seemed like technological marvels when they first appeared in the late ’80s. We’d proudly wear these garments, fascinated by how they revealed exactly where we were sweating the most. Paired with the equally questionable Jam shorts—those baggy, brightly patterned surf shorts worn far from any actual beach—we created ensembles that were as impractical as they were eye-catching.
The novelty of the color-changing shirts quickly faded when we realized they essentially created detailed maps of our perspiration patterns for all to see. After just a few washes, the heat-reactive properties would begin to fail, leaving strange, permanently discolored patches in the most unfortunate places. Nevertheless, we paid premium prices for these technological fashion disasters, convinced they represented the future of clothing.
12. Fanny Packs and Parachute Material Windbreakers
Nothing screamed “tourist” quite like the ubiquitous fanny pack worn front and center over a brightly colored windbreaker made of crinkly parachute material. We’d stuff these waist pouches to capacity, creating unflattering bulges around our midsections while the windbreakers made swishing sounds with every movement. The combination created an ensemble that prioritized function over fashion, though it failed to excel at either.
The windbreakers offered minimal protection from actual weather conditions, acting more like sails in strong winds and providing little warmth when temperatures dropped. The fanny packs, despite their practicality, created the optical illusion of adding pounds to our waistlines while simultaneously making it nearly impossible to hug another person properly. Yet we wore these items everywhere from theme parks to shopping malls, declaring our commitment to convenience over style.
Fashion trends may come and go, but the memories of these questionable style choices will remain with us forever. While we may look back with a mixture of amusement and mortification, these fashion mistakes were part of our journey and helped shape the decades they defined. Perhaps in another forty years, today’s young people will be laughing just as hard at their own fashion faux pas, proving that the cycle of regrettable style choices continues with each generation.
