Naming a product might seem easy, but it’s a high-stakes game. A bad name can overshadow even the best ideas, leaving customers baffled, amused, or downright horrified. These 12 product names fall into the “what were they thinking?!” category, proving that a little brainstorming might have saved the day.
1. Ayds Diet Candy
Before the 1980s, Ayds was a popular weight-loss candy. Unfortunately, its name became an unintentional nightmare when it coincided with the AIDS epidemic. Sales plummeted as people understandably didn’t want to be associated with the word—no matter how effective the candy might have been.
2. Clairol’s Touch of Yogurt Shampoo
In the late 1970s, Clairol launched a shampoo infused with yogurt, claiming it would make hair softer and shinier. While the concept wasn’t entirely off, the idea of putting yogurt in your hair made people hesitant. The product flopped, but the ads live on as a reminder of an overly adventurous marketing move.
3. Gerber Singles
This 1974 attempt to sell baby food for adults was hilariously misjudged. Gerber’s tiny jars were filled with flavors like beef Burgundy and creamed chicken, aimed at single people who wanted convenient meals. The ads didn’t save it from being a culinary punchline.
4. Microsoft Bob
This 1995 software aimed to make computers more user-friendly, but the name “Bob” didn’t inspire confidence. It sounded like a sitcom neighbor, not a high-tech assistant. Combine that with the clunky design, and it was doomed to be forgotten.
5. Wow! Chips
Frito-Lay’s fat-free chips from the late 1990s came with the exclamation “Wow!” in their name. While catchy, the name became ironic when the chips were linked to gastrointestinal issues thanks to the Olestra additive. “Wow!” took on an entirely different meaning.
6. Simple Check by No Name
No Name doubled down on its “no-frills” philosophy with a line of products labeled “Simple Check.” While intended to imply health-conscious simplicity, the name sounded more like a banking feature than a grocery item. Combined with their generic yellow packaging, these products often left shoppers wondering if the branding team just gave up entirely.
7. Anti-Monkey Butt Powder
Yes, this is real. Designed for people with chafing issues, the name adds a bizarre visual you didn’t ask for. Effective? Sure. But you’ll need a straight face to mention it in public.
8. Bladder Buddy
A portable urinal that promises relief on the go. While practical, the name is enough to make you second-guess your life choices. It’s hard to imagine anyone saying, “Hang on, I need my Bladder Buddy,” with a straight face.
9. Colon Blow Cereal
Satirical? Yes. Gross? Also yes. This mock product name gained notoriety thanks to an SNL sketch, but actual high-fiber cereals are only slightly less terrifyingly named in real life.
10. EZ Squirt Ketchup
Launched by Heinz in the early 2000s, this product featured ketchup in wild colors like green and purple. While the idea of colorful ketchup was quirky, the name “EZ Squirt” sounded more like something you’d hear at a water park, leaving parents and kids giggling for all the wrong reasons.
11. Zit Poppers
A toy, not a skincare product, but still utterly horrifying. The toy allowed kids to pretend they were popping pimples. Who thought this was a good idea, and how did it make it to production?
12. Golden Gaytime
A popular Australian ice cream, this name has been delighting and confusing international tourists for decades. While it’s perfectly innocent Down Under, it causes quite the double-take elsewhere.
Bad names might be memorable, but they’re not always for the right reasons. Whether you’re laughing or cringing, these naming mishaps prove that words matter.
