1. The Cabbage Soup Diet
Ah, the classic! The cabbage soup diet had us simmering pots of cabbage, onions, and celery, all in the hopes of dropping pounds. For seven days, this soup was basically all we ate. It promised quick weight loss, but it also left our taste buds begging for mercy.
2. The Grapefruit Diet
Grapefruits were suddenly a miracle food in the ’80s. People swore by eating half a grapefruit before each meal, believing it would melt away fat. Sure, grapefruits are great, but some of us still can’t smell one without a shiver of nostalgia…and not in a good way.
3. Dexatrim Pills
A staple at drugstores, Dexatrim promised to curb hunger with just a small pill. It was easy and fast—no cabbage soup required! What they didn’t advertise, though, were the jitters, anxiety, and general heart-pounding panic that sometimes followed.
4. Sweatin’ to the Oldies
Richard Simmons brought us a fun, feel-good way to lose weight, dressed in his signature short-shorts and tank tops. Dancing to classic hits with Richard’s energy felt a lot less like a workout—until you tried to walk the next day!
5. The Scarsdale Diet
This low-carb, high-protein diet had strict rules. You’d basically eat the same few things over and over, like half a grapefruit, coffee, and small portions of protein. It worked, but it was pretty joyless, with lots of rules and very few carbs.
6. Fasting (But with Juices)
Juice fasting was trendy for anyone wanting a “detox.” People believed drinking only juice for a few days would “flush” their system. But many of us realized later that it mostly just made us cranky, hungry, and craving solid food even more.
7. Sauna Suits
Plastic sauna suits promised to help us sweat out the pounds. They looked like strange, shiny pajamas and were seriously uncomfortable. You’d sweat buckets in them—until you realized that most of it was just water weight that would come right back.
8. SlimFast Shakes
“Shake for breakfast, shake for lunch, and a sensible dinner.” SlimFast made it easy—just drink their chalky shake and call it a meal! Many of us gave it a shot, only to end up craving actual food by lunchtime.
9. Vibrating Belts
You’d strap on a vibrating belt, which promised to “shake away” the fat while you sat back and relaxed. Sounds great, right? But it didn’t exactly deliver. At best, you got a little massage—and no, it didn’t replace actual exercise.
10. Tab Diet Soda
Tab was the trendy low-cal soda of the decade, promising fewer calories for our favorite carbonated treat. But between the artificial sweeteners and the metallic aftertaste, it was more like a “dietary experiment” than a real treat.
11. The Beverly Hills Diet
This one was intense: you’d eat specific foods on certain days, in specific orders. Day one was all fruit, and on other days you’d slowly add foods back in. The theory was that it would “trick” your metabolism. Mostly, though, it just tricked us into feeling deprived.
12. Crystal Light and Low-Calorie Snacks
Crystal Light came out, and suddenly, everything could be guilt-free. Pair it with low-calorie (often tasteless) snacks, and you’d be feeling good—until you realized you were just as hungry as before but now craving something with actual flavor.
13. The Low-Fat Craze
We saw low-fat everything in the ’80s! Ice cream, cookies, even chips—if it was low in fat, it had to be healthy, right? Turns out, low-fat often meant high sugar and high processed ingredients, which wasn’t exactly the health fix we’d hoped for.
14. Jazzercise
Jazzercise brought fitness to the dance floor, combining jazz moves with aerobics. It was fun, flashy, and pure ’80s. Leg warmers? Check. Neon spandex? Double check. Jazzercise classes were packed with people hoping to “sweat to slim,” all while keeping the beat.
15. The Cambridge Diet
The Cambridge Diet offered low-calorie meal replacements that were…not the tastiest. This very low-calorie diet had some of us nearly starving ourselves with gritty shakes and bars. The weight loss was fast, but the hunger? Relentless.
